Penny & Chris Goeppner are in the process of adopting two children from Russia.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Potty Training Woes

*Warning: The following post includes potty talk

I'm at a loss here people. I need some advice. Jadon is clearly showing signs that he is ready to start potty training but is just not following through with it. He knows the difference between wet and dry and will go pee-pee if I put him on the potty. He wakes up often in the morning with a dry diaper and can hold it for hours during the day. I have been giving praises and skittles as positive reinforcement every time he has a dry diaper, focusing on that instead of peeing in the potty. Yesterday he told me he wanted to go pee-pee on the potty for the first time and he did! I was so excited! I decided to try underwear which he kept dry for a couple hours by me taking him to the potty every 15 minutes. He went outside to play and peed in his underwear. I told him gently that he needs to keep his underwear dry and we went inside to pee on the potty. I could tell he needed to poop so I had him sit on the potty longer, encouraging him to go. He refused, as usual, went back outside and pooped in his underwear. So, I'm getting frustrated and I don't want this to be a negative thing for him. He could care less when he is wet or if he poops in his pants, he'll happily sit in it for hours. So this makes me think he's not ready despite the other signs of readiness. I know every parent struggles in this area but any advice would be welcome.


At 10:51 AM , Blogger Stacy, Pat and Aidan said...

I have the same situation going on with Aidan (he'll be e in May). I had heard that they would sit the kids on the potty for long periods of time at the orphanage so I have bene hesitant about doint that. . .If I hear of a good solution, I'll pass it along. I've heard, though, that little boys do really well around the time of their third birthday. We'll see!

At 12:48 PM , Blogger Kim said...

Hi, my youngest son will be 3 in June and we are going through this right now. He is at the same place and knows the difference but just won't tell me. It is very frustrating and a pain. You are not alone. I wish I could give you helpful hints but nothing I do is working either. :) My oldest son just did it. Nice.


At 1:33 PM , Blogger JennyM said...

I know girls are different from boys but we are having similar issues with Allie (she is now 2 1/2). I am not brave enough to try underwear yet, though. Allie was "potty trained" when we brought her home in October but started pooping and peeing her pull-up a few months after her being home. I know she was supposed to regress but it still wasn't fun--especially when the pooping started. What we do right now is reward her based on what she does as far as pottying (and we use M&M's). If I take her and her pull up is dry and she pee pee's in the potty, she gets 1 M&M; if she poops, she gets 2 M&M's. If she TELLS me she has to potty and THEN goes pee pee in the potty (and pull-up is dry) she gets 2 M&M's; if she poops she gets 3 M&M's.
We also have "good girl jars" and she get to put the amount of "jewels" in her jar corresponding to the M&M's. When the jar is full, she gets a special treat.
We tried some negative re-enforcement at first and it DIDN'T work but she is responding well to this method. We'll see if she tires of it soon. :)
I don't think my nephew was potty trained until he was 4 though.
Oh, one more thing my friend tried was pretty good. When her son pooped in his underwear, she took him in the bathroom, gave him some wipes and told him he had to clean himself up before he could come out. She said he used the whole box of wipes and she heard a lot of "ewww's" but that was the only time he pooped in his underwear!

At 3:07 PM , Blogger Ryan and Katie Horner said...

Oh yes, the potty training woes! After many failed attempts we decided to try the no underwear and long t-shirts approach for two days. Buy some carpet spot remover! After one accident on the floor he started running to the bathroom when we got the urge. It only took one day for it to stick (although we have had regressions on occasion since).

At 3:53 PM , Blogger Charlene said...

This could get long... sorry if it is. So what worked for me with Noah started with a trip to the store to buy 18 pairs of underwear - one of each package that they had - because I went through so many pairs the first couple of days training Syd and I didn't want to have to be washing underwear multiple times a day. When we got home from the store we made the underwear really special and tried almost all of them on at the same time, looked pretty "special" but was fun for Noah. Anyways, the day that I started, first thing in the morning when he got up he got to pick his first pair of underwear to wear. We went straight into the kitchen where we "trained" a baby doll to use the potty. After a bunch of times feeding the baby and making it pee - super exciting to Noah - he took a turn going to sit on the potty. Of course nothing happened, but that's how it usually goes. I had bought a ton of different drinks and snacks for the day and was continually urging him to drink and anytime he sat on the potty he got a treat. Every 15 minutes or so (I actually used a timer because otherwise I would forget) we went to the potty and in the times between we played with the doll teaching her to potty. It was a super boring day, but so worthwhile. I blogged all about it because it was exciting/boring so you can always read that for more detailed info. But basically for the whole day I was taking him to the potty every 15 minutes or so. Diapers were gone, never to be used again. We do use pull-ups at nap times and bedtime though. Anyways, he did pretty good, of course he had a few accidents but he also used the potty a couple times. What I noticed seemed to help was we would sing songs, play I-spy, and the favorite thing was reading this potty book that I had actually bought for potty-training Syd. It had a flushing sound that Noah loved and he got to push on every page. That usually worked to keep him on the toilet long enough and relaxed enough to pee/poo. Basically after one day he was potty trained. Now, he still didn't tell me when he had to pee, I just started spacing out the times a little longer and farther apart each day. He also got treats each time he used the potty for at least the first week, but it was probably longer than that, basically we just stopped telling him he'd get a treat and only give them to him when he asked for them and it trailed off pretty quickly. He still will hold it as long as he can and often starts crying when he has to pee really bad, but he doesn't have many accidents. Oh, one other thing that I think really helps, every time Noah had an accident for the first few days I would make him "practice". After we cleaned him and the mess up (with his help) we would go back to the place of the accident and practice running to the potty, pulling down his pants and underwear and getting up on the potty. As soon as he was up it was back off and back to the place of the accident for a total of six times. He wasn't over fond of this but it really helped him. Even through all his complaints and there were quite a few, we practiced. We also would completely take off his pants and underwear and sit as far back on the toilet seat (just a regular one, not a kiddy seat or little potty or anything, that's what he wanted after trying them all out) as possible. That gets quite annoying but less so than having to deal with pee covered pants and underwear from not getting his little man aimed properly in the toilet. Another thing that can help is buying bigger underwear. Noah usually wears and 2T-3T but we bought 4T underwear so that it would be easier to pull up. So ya, that's my two cents. But every kid is different. I did some of these things with Syd (but not all or as effectively) and it took a long, long time for her to get it. For her, the moment when things started to click was when she noticed that pee is yellow, so you never know what will do it for the kid. But ya, it's hard and annoying and frustrating and don't plan on going anywhere or doing anything for about a week and buy some of those plastic pants (or you can borrow mine Noah only wore them once and some not at all - they make you sweat really bad and I felt bad for him having to wear them - and you can borrow the doll to for that matter if you want) but once it's done it's sooooo awesome not having to change poopy diapers anymore, although rare accidents do happen and I will say cleaning poo out of underwear is worse, sorry. Hope that helps even a little bit. Good luck!

At 6:02 PM , Blogger our(soontobe)partyof6 said...

Here's my two cents after potty training 3 kids, 2 girls and 1 boy: Only give m&m's if he goes on the potty, 1 for pee, 2 for poop. If you know he has to poop, but has trouble being patient enough to sit there and push it out, give him a toy to hold or read him a story while he sits there. Eventually, it will come out. Then have a party - praise him like crazy. Use old undies when he's first starting out cuz they will get pooped in. Make a chart and when he poops in the potty 5 times, take him to Target and let him choose his favorite new undies. Cut back on juices - they will make him pee more and cause diahrrea. He will get it eventually. We used pull-ups at night only cuz I didnt want to make extra laundry. girls are good because they dont like to sit in their pee,they dont like to be messy or wet. Boys seem to care less. He eventually will get it. Have Roman help encourage him, too.
Good luck! It will click with him, soon! :o) Kacey

At 10:30 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey i dont know if my advice will be useful or not, but apparently kids need their privacy too. So maybe the best thing to do is to let him on his own, shut the door, repeat the process several times and see if it eventually works !

At 4:34 PM , Blogger Chris Goeppner said...

Thanks Everyone for your comments and advice. I know we'll get there. He actually told me he had to go pee-pee today, woo-hoo!;) He still has no desire to poop on the potty yet but I know he will eventually.

At 7:13 PM , Blogger Lori said...

wow! I guess you got some advice...mine is simple, all four of my kids did it when THEY were ready and when that happens, there is no stopping them.

At 9:09 AM , Blogger Debbie B said...

Don't have any advice for you but a friend of mine is potty training her daughter. She is blogging about it.
You might get some tips from her. She has a son also and might even be able to help.

At 3:41 AM , Blogger Janine said...

It just takes awhile to learn. Going potty has been such an automatic involuntary response for so long that it takes a lot of mental thought to be cognitively aware of holding it in and then making it to the potty in time. Add in another distraction like having fun outside well...sometimes your mind forgets you were concentrating on your body too. Hang in there. It will happen. Eventually he will be able to do other things and still be aware of his bodily needs and making it in time. Such hard work being little! My 4 year old on occasion still has accidents when he gets distracted playing outside and he's been potty trained since he was 2.5. In his case, he thinks he can hold it longer because he doesn't want to stop playing. :) Just stay positive and keep up the good work!


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