Home for 1 month!
Today we've been home with the boys for one month! It has flown by! We have mostly good days but some are not so good but that's normal, right?=)
I love that the boys sleep through the night and when they wake up in the morning, they play quietly in their room until we get them at 7. They are so happy to see us in the morning and it's very sweet. Roman is very affectionate had is constantly smelling my hair. Strange, but I guess it's comforting to him in some way. Jadon is becoming more affectionate and is very attached to me. He still has a nasty temper and that bothers me a lot. Today he threw a ceramic coaster on the floor in a fit of anger over not getting fed fast enough and it broke into pieces. How do I handle that? I'm pissed off that he's being disrespectful and throwing/breaking things but I don't want him to see that. What I did was say "No!" and I swatted his hand to which he threw himself on the floor and screamed. The kid wears me out. He can be very sweet and funny though, I just wish it was more often.
The boys both love being outdoors and going for rides in the car.
Food is usually not a problem. They eat almost anything.
Roman is learning more words in English everyday. He loves to learn so I think it won't be too long before he's fluent.
We are so happy to be home and we are becoming a stronger family everyday. Thank you all for your continued support and prayers.
posted by Chris Goeppner @ 10:43 AM
9 Comments:
It helps me to stay "emotionally detached" (i.e. not showing them that they got to me) if I use certain phrases consistently... I go to my "parenting scripts". Some good phrases are "I am sorry you made that choice" or "that behavior is not acceptable"... obviously then they get a consequence. The swat worked for some of mine, but some needed isolation (put in crib or empty playpen) because the swat meant nothing to them! Some of mine are more "high maintenance" and it is so exhausting!! The worst is when I give in to my emotions and have a little fit myself. I'll be praying for you. Good for you for working at nipping it in the bud now. Take heart, my mom felt like she was dealing with Satan himself when she was dealing with me as a child.... and I turned out okay! If you don't have The Power of a Praying Parent, get it! Your battle is not with him. I have to remind myself constantly who the real enemy is and deal with him accordingly as well.
Nothing has brought me closer to the Lord than my husband and children. Difficult times in relationships are a gift. You get to love little ones that are often unlovable with their behavior. You get to be Jesus. You will fail somedays, as we all do, but you will have victories too. Keep aiming and shooting your arrows... if you miss the mark, just adjust your aim and shoot again. Once in a while you will even hit the bullseye with your parenting!
I pray that God blesses your efforts!
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I get these and they serve as great reminders and encouragement!
:) Jody
Kevin does the hair smelling and sometimes eating thing too. It is only embarrassing when he does it to complete strangers at the park. Apparantly there is this kid at school he especially likes to do it to. The teacher thinks he must give off a certain scent that kevin likes. Who knows. Weird I say, but whatever. As long as he isnt hitting the kid, I guess it is not that bad.
The first few weeks home were challenging with our girls. Lots of temper tantrums, especially when they didn't get what they wanted.
We found that a lot of redirection helped, with the occasional time out for the really naughty stuff.
It gets better with time. Stay consistent, and it will pay off.
Best wishes!
Congrats on making it through the first month! What we found with Cole, was we had to learn to anticipate his behaviours rather than change them initially. There was so much stress and overstimulation that he simply had no other way to express himself. Now, at 8 months home, we can use time outs, redirection, etc. But initially, we had to be the ones to do all the changing. It will get better with time! Just love on those boys and make them feel safe. Time will do wonders!
I don't know if there's a better method for an adopted child, but you are doing exactly what we would have done with our 2 boys- I would have taken them to the broken coaster (Target sells cheap cork coasters- they don't break! LOL!), swatted their hand and told them that throwing is not allowed. Perhaps give a concequence if they do it again- like a time out or a toy being taken away? That might be a bit tough because I'm sure there's still a language issue, but the hand-pop translates well! Best of luck with the boys. Strong-willed and heavy tempered kids can be tough, but I know you will work through those issues- they just take a bit more care and attention.
Congratulations on your adoption and 1 month home! My 2 year old still has tantrums. She came home a 15 months, and when she got mad, she would literally throw herself back, no matter where she was. After a couple of times of hitting her head on the side of the coffee table, I took out the dog water spray bottle, and gave her a squirt. She was so in shock, she didn't fall back anymore. She still has tantrums, but, not as severe! It is really hard at this age. hang in there. It will pass, once they know what is ok to do and what is not. It will take some time.
hugs
Hang in there! Parenting is tough, as you are finding out QUICKLY. Most of us have time to let it sink in but you are thrown to the fire, so to speak. Toddlers are known for tantrums - it's just a phase! You are doing great!! Thanks for sharing your stories.
I forgot to mention that your family is sooooooo beautiful and that video that your husband posted about your adoption made me bust out in tears at my desk at work. (My aunt and uncle are going to the same orphanage your kids were at and will be coming home next week with their daughter... and that's how I found your blogs.) I will give my son extra hugs and kisses tonight after watching that video. Our children are all so precious.
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